She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
