that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
