So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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