"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
foreskin is a definite game changer
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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