shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Randomize
