Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
