but the lizard people decide everything anyway
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
