i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
