So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
