i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
