Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
