Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
