To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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