my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
