just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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