I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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