i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
