We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
