With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
