I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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