the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
