i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize