apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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