yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize