i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
