the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
