I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I need moral support for this bender
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
