Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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