Kiss
Puke
What a fucking waste of an outfit
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize