Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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