I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
