it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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