About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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