apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
