Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
