hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
