is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
