Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
