No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just pee around me
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
