I wannas sexs uuuuu
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
