3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize