Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize