Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
