it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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