You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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