I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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