it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
