their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Your dad touched me again.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
be right there i have to get my cape
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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