her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
