defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Green mimosas i think yes
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
