everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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