Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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