I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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