It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
