He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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