Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
